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But I'm Not Alive Until You Call :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 5
Literature
Play Pretend
It starts out easy.
Almost naturally.
The feeling of anticipation in your chest that makes your heart stop and flutter when you know it's coming.
Then it begins to get a little more messy.
You do things you normally wouldn't do to get to that place.
But you always make it there.
"You're to pretty to be doing this."
You're to shallow to give a shit.
You tell yourself that you deserve this. This is your life now, is what will cross your mind when you see the white lines on the texas highways flowing underneath you, as you drive yourself to the only relief you've ever known.
This is the thing about heroin; people will come and go in an instant.
Please stop blaming yourself for these lost ties.
People will ask you why you put your heart and soul into these troubled people, but what they don't understand is that if you could make all of these beautifully, misunderstood people into one perfect person, you would.
What they also don't understand is that they have had literally the only
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Blue Blood :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 0 Ultraviolence :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 1 1 Can't go home alone again :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 11 6 Got me up all night :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 0 2013 :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 1
Literature
Breathe Me
I have lost myself again.
I read novels about people I will never be, and I try to relate my life to every single one of them. I try to make myself feel better,
but I never do.
~
They say everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, but I never let anyone get to know me; I never let anyone in. I am always the stranger and never the friend.
I'm at war with my mind and I'm losing.
~
No one gives a fuck if you're lonely, they only give a fuck if you're pretty.
If only you wanted me, you would have me.
But you never did.
~
Was I anything to you? Or was there something wrong with me?
You played me like the guitar that you pawned for drugs.
But the way the moonlight covered your skin like a blanket on the Friday nights, I just couldn't shake.
I couldn't forget the taste of your mouth, and the way you kissed me, like there was a burning in your heart; as if it would be the last time.
I think about the last time you kissed me and I cry,
because it was so long ago.
~
A heart's purpose is
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:iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 1 0
Literature
feeling { electric } tonight.
Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness.
~
It seems that during the night is when my mind is the most awake. I fight demons on the inside and smile on the out.
I'm trying to find myself inbetween it all, and failing.
I think about the good times but then I remember that they're gone.
~
I wake up every morning wishing you were lying beside me, and I wake up every morning to realise that you're not.
My heart breaks a little more each time.
Do you know what it's like to hate everything about yourself?
I really hope you don't, because you're fucking beautiful.
I hope that someday I could feel for myself just a little of the love I feel for you,
but then I realise it's impossible, because I will never be even close to that kind of perfection.
Will this night ever end? Will this unhappy life ever end..
~
I wish I could go back to the day I overdosed, and stop you from saving me.
Stop you from throwing my body under that cold shower,
stop you from slapping my face,
stop you from waking
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:iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 1 5
Literature
Outsider.
It's 4:38 am,
and I've never felt so alone.
~
My mind is my own worst enemy.
Every night I lay here and think about how badly I wish I could turn back time and take back everything I did to you.
Everytime I close my eyes I see your face. You're all I dream about, and my heart breaks every morning I wake up with no one next to me.
When I dream, I dream of you,
and it breaks my heart to know it's all in my head.
~
I promised you I would be better. I promised you I would do good.
But promises break just as easily as my heart.
So, needle, my old friend
I'm back again for another mistake.
My heart races, and then I get that rush
that I've been waiting for,
and everything is okay again.
~
It's seems like when you're at your lowest point is when the world decides to turn its back on you.
Then you're on the outside, watching everyone continue on with their lives, while you're screaming at the top of your lungs but no one can hear you.
~
Loneliness will be the death of me.
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:iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 1 0
Graduation :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 0 7
Literature
Faded.
Fading in and out of consciousness, just like every other day.
~
Bitter, vingery smell fills your nostrils. How is something so vile so compelling?
Roll up the dollar bill,
inhale the dark powder,
and prepare to care about nothing but the moment.
-
It begins with a warm sensation in your chest,
right around your heart, {like you even have one}
and then the comforting, tingly feeling spreads through you.
The relief you feel after it hits you, {the guilt sets in later, don't worry}
and suddenly you feel like talking.
You bring up old times, tell whoever you're with a few stories,
maybe even start talking kind of serious,
because anyone who is in the same state as you will understand.
After saying a bit to much, thats when you start feeling comfortable. {For now}
Like you could just sink into the seat you're sitting in and never move again.
Then, the nodding off begins.
You begin to fade in and out, {that's why it's called getting faded}
your friends might still be talking, but you don't
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Pure 2 :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 1 0 Pure :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 0 Black Widow 2 :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 2 5 Black Widow. :iconhopesxhere:HopesxHere 3 3

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Literature
Ice life
Leaves twirl,
on the breath of ice giants.
Somewhere in the night they disappear,
morphing into flakes of white.
They melt on my tongue, like dreams do upon waking.
My breathe comes to life in the cold.
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Introductions
"Hi, I'm-"
"I know who you are."
"You do?"
"You're the guy who thinks he's invisible."
"I have a name-"
"It isn't important. Because you really don't think it's important."
"All right. Since we've started out this way, let me just tell you, I know you too."
"Yeah?"
"You're the girl who is broken."
"I am not broken."
"You're the girl whose eyes close every night and open the next morning, only to find you have never slept at all."
"I sleep well. Besides-"
"You're the girl who dreams of a happy ending even though she has seen seventeen...no, eighteen unhappy ones in her eighteen years."
"Happy endings are over rated. And you're-"
"You're the girl who wants something bigger, something stronger, just so the weakness in her body becomes something so much more."
"You don't understand weakness the way-"
"You're the girl whose heart broke when she was so young, and she fixed it back together with superglue, but cannot ignore the cracks."
"Superglue makes for a good companion, especially when-"
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He loves me, he loves me not__
You'd think you know someone
after living with them for
a few years. but, you'd be
wrong
to think such a ridiculous thing
For, who truly knows oneself better
than that person himself?
Years of loyalty and trust you give
to this person, but he takes that for
granted
Of course he would *snicker*
I have come to the conclusion
that all men are
deceiving
disgusting
dirty
liars.
Sitting by candle light
I stare out the rain-stained window.
It's pouring a monsoon outside
but I can see a faint outline of a figure.
Moments escape. . .
Tick. Tock. Tick.
The door opens behind. And there he is.
"You're late."
2:39 am
"Oh! You are awake..."
"Where were you?"
At work doing over time, he tells me.
Walking to him, I catch a scent of
lavender perfume.
Taking off his drenched coat, I can see
the side of his face in the dim candle light.
A red smear. A pair of runny lip stains.
That fool…did he think the rain would wash
away the evidence and leave it
unnoticed?
Strike one.
He s
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HopesxHere's Profile Picture
HopesxHere
Hope
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Hope Alexis

Twenty,
dreamer,
lover,
smoker,
writer,
Addict .
Interests

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:iconxsatansxragdollx:
xSatansxRagdollx Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the favorite a while ago. :iconyourockplz:
Reply
:iconnemike:
nemike Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Happy belated birthday, Hope! And Congratulations on graduation!

:party::cake::dance:
Reply
:iconjonnie1234:
Jonnie1234 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
happppy birthday!!!!
Reply
:iconfirearoundthebrim:
FireAroundTheBrim Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
thanks for the watch.
Reply
:iconleosm:
LeoSM Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2011
Happy Birthday! :hug::cake:
Reply
:iconmystic-french-fries:
Mystic-French-Fries Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
Babies.
Reply
:iconmystic-french-fries:
Mystic-French-Fries Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011
GUESS WHOOOOOOO
Reply
:iconjusteline:
justeline Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011  Professional Photographer
:iconflowerthnxplz:
Late many thanks for the :+fav: and late many wishes for a very happy 2011 Hope!
:iconmuchlove1plz::iconmuchlove2plz:
:iconmuchlove3plz::iconmuchlove4plz:
Reply
:iconsurrender-myself:
surrender-myself Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011
Thank you for the fav.
Reply
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