HopesxHere

It starts out easy. Almost naturally. The feeling of anticipation in your chest that makes your heart stop and flutter when you know it's coming. Then it begins to get a little more messy. You do things you normally wouldn't do to get to that place. But you always make it there. "You're to pretty to be doing this." You're to shallow to give a shit. You tell yourself that you deserve this. This is your life now, is what will cross your mind when you see the white lines on the texas highways flowing underneath you, as you drive yourself to the only relief you've ever known. This is the thing about heroin; people will come and go in an insta

I have lost myself again. I read novels about people I will never be, and I try to relate my life to every single one of them. I try to make myself feel better, but I never do. ~ They say everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, but I never let anyone get to know me; I never let anyone in. I am always the stranger and never the friend. I'm at war with my mind and I'm losing. ~ No one gives a fuck if you're lonely, they only give a fuck if you're pretty. If only you wanted me, you would have me. But you never did. ~ Was I anything to you? Or was there something wrong with me? You played me like the guitar that you pawned for

 Kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness. ~ It seems that during the night is when my mind is the most awake. I fight demons on the inside and smile on the out. I'm trying to find myself inbetween it all, and failing. I think about the good times but then I remember that they're gone. ~ I wake up every morning wishing you were lying beside me, and I wake up every morning to realise that you're not. My heart breaks a little more each time. Do you know what it's like to hate everything about yourself? I really hope you don't, because you're fucking beautiful. I hope that someday I could feel for myself just a little of the lov

It's 4:38 am, and I've never felt so alone. ~ My mind is my own worst enemy. Every night I lay here and think about how badly I wish I could turn back time and take back everything I did to you. Everytime I close my eyes I see your face. You're all I dream about, and my heart breaks every morning I wake up with no one next to me. When I dream, I dream of you, and it breaks my heart to know it's all in my head. ~ I promised you I would be better. I promised you I would do good. But promises break just as easily as my heart. So, needle, my old friend I'm back again for another mistake. My heart races, and then I get that rush t